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Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Stuff I have been storing up 

Random bile, ludicrous recriminations, utter nonsense:

Hey squeegee kid: your attempt to clean my windshield was diligent and thorough, if entirely unwanted. Too bad it left my glass a mess because your squeegee was incredibly dirty. Argh!

Hey Democrats and fellow travelers: calm down. Thank you. I know, read, or talk to a lot of you, and although you are each filled with disgust and dismay in a different and special way, it's always boring. Instead, please tell me about your latest diet, the dream you had last night, or that cute thing your new girlfriend does. I'd really rather hear about that.

Why am I doing nothing but eat and sleep this week?

Hey everybody: stop having such a better career than me. It's embarrassing, and even TLO taunts me about it. Just because you're smarter, more competent, and took up a better career than me doesn't mean you ought to enjoy your more-rewarding, better-paying job...oh wait. Yeah, it does mean that.

Maybe this should be addressed to the cat, except it's a cat, and thus doesn't have a clue. But why does the cat like me more now that I'm poking it with insulin-filled needles twice a day? Might this technique work on some people?

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