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Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Dr. House's wonderful drinking game 

Okay, so The Lovely One and I are incurable fans of that great doctor-drama, House [DANGER: Completely naff flash site]. But it is, after only half a season, a tetch prone to recurring plot tics.

Therefore, to enhance your enjoyment, I bring you the House Drinking Game:

Take 1 sip when:

-House pops a Vicodin
-anyone says that "patients lie"
-they use an effects shot to show you what's happening inside a patient's body
-any character makes a comment about House's leg
-House visits a patient (clinic doesn't count)
-House insults a patient
-House insults a doctor
-House insults standard medical practices
-House's diagnosis turns out to be incorrect
-the staff are manipulating a patient sample (blood, urine, etc.) in that spooky lab (hereafter to be known as the "exposition room")
-a patient has an adverse reaction to treatment
-a patient has a violent reaction (spews blood, heart stops, etc.)(if due to treatment, that's two shots)
-a personal detail about House is revealed (e.g. House likes monster trucks, House once lived with someone, House plays piano, etc.)
-House displays improbable knowledge (e.g. fluent in Portuguese)
-House catches someone in a lie
-Cuddy refuses to let House do something
-Cuddy talks to House about his clinic hours, or shirking thereof
-A reference is made to Foreman's criminal past, Cameron's beauty, or Chase's citizenship

Drink half a glass when:

-the crew break into a patient's house
-anyone attacks House physically
-a character who is accused of lying turns out to be telling the truth
-House engages in a leisure activity and obviously enjoys it (monster truck show, listening to music at home, etc.)

I don't think any of these has happened yet, but drink your whole glass down (you'll need it) if:

-House becomes romantically involved
-Wilson cheats on his wife
-House gets fired by Cuddy
-Any two of the six main characters (House, Cuddy, Chase, Cameron, Foreman, or Wilson) get romantically involved with each other.

Additions to the list gratefully received.

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